Luckily, not everything stayed the same. People changed. And that is good – the first lecture in Sweden they already ‘warned’ for coming back and you’ve changed but nobody else did, which leaves you with a complete changed view on the world and nobody understands you. None of that, but the environment didn’t change that much. I can still find everything on the same place (also meaning I have to do some room cleaning, still as I left it). I don’t have to do any thinking or searching, I can just join in the household here and things work the same. A very strange feeling, also because in some way I don’t feel a deep continuous longing for going to Sweden again.

In Sweden we had some 8 different garbage places under the kitchen sink, for the different garbage you have to separate. Just a month before I left there, two more were added. Or, actually, one of them was separated further into 3 different categories. Which was a good thing, but meant more space needed. ‘Here’, in the Netherlands, we maybe had something like 4 (paper, glass, compost and the rest), but only 2 of them (compost and the rest) were under the kitchen sink. Paper was in the hallway and glass in the garden.

Now, apparently some time ago, things changed here as well. Now plastic needs to be separated. So, more place needed under the kitchen sink. But there was none. There is the garden stuff and other cleaning stuff. And of course the olive oil… Ok, logical to replace that right? Enough places come to mind. But no, not possible; “it is good for olive oil to be in a dark place”.

But actually I do. Or, I started, I started having that longing for going ‘back’ again, back to my own place, our place. Stings in this household still go slow now and then. Things don’t happen, they don’t change. No experiments. All new thoughts are going down directly because this or that. There is always some ‘rule’ or ‘knowledge’ that prevents things from changing.

So nothing changes. The olive oil stays in place. The plastic is placed next to the cats, not really nice, but ok.

Oh, and it is not that I’m not playing a part here. It is just the combined atmosphere or behavior in this house. But I don’t want that anymore. I want to initiate new things.

Oh yeah, about the vacation adventures..

On vacation in your own house. “Where are you?.. over..” “At the vacation photos of 1991.. over..”

One research was investigating the (Hofstede’s) culture dimensions (like individualism – collectivism, femininity – masculinity, long-term – short-term orientation) and how they applied to exchange students. Otherwise said, is it so that people from the ‘travellers country’ have another scale on the culture dimensions? :) And, although the research has some limitations, it showed that for example people from this travellers country were more individualistic – not surprisingly of course.

A lot of the other research also showed a difficulty in research and culture and language. When research about stress and burnout for example, might it be the case that American people experience something else than Swedes. And thus that when it turns out that American people are more stressed and have more burnouts than Swedes (according to this research), that that is because they see more situations as stressing and/or have a different understanding of the ’same’ word.

In the train back to Eskilstuna a guy was offering his newspaper back to some elder couple opposite to him; he probably borrowed it earlier. After they said that that wasn’t neseccary he said “tack så mycket” (”thanks you very much”, in Dutch you would probably say “heel erg bedankt” or “dank u zeer”). To me, that sounded a bit too much for just getting a newspaper in general, but it might be influenced by the fact that the people were older, more ‘respect’ for elder people? Or a different understanding of the same language? Maybe in Swedish it is more common to speak like that..

The last few weeks I’ve noticed that I look differently at the trip to school, at doing shopping, at walking in the city. I finally start to see this as normal. Before it was still my study abroad. Now this way to school has become my way to school, this city became my city. I feel at home, I think.

On the right is a part of that life. On my way to school the air was on fire. Oh, btw, another fire that was part of the life here, was Valborg. The Swedish helgdagar (holiday) on the 30th of April.

From one of the first books about intercultural interactions:

Strangeness is no longer a temporary condition to be overcome, but a way of life.
Harman

At the end of the lecture I invited everyone to take one of the tomato pies I had been making. I told it was common in my culture to bring some snacks with when you’re celebrating your birthday (my actual birthday is tomorrow). So that got some talk going about celebrating your birthday in different cultures.

When I grabbed my coat and looked back at the group, I suddenly noticed everyone was just hanging around and having a nice chat while they were eating. Nothing weird, people hanging around for a while and enjoying a nice conversation, but I just didn’t expected it for some reason.

So I, not in any hurry, left my coat and joined the conversations. But as I later realized it probably was already too late. Grabbing my coat in the first place was enough non-verbal communication and the conversations soon stopped and everybody took its own way again :)

—

For tomorrow I invited some people for a housewarming. Some have replied they can’t come, but most haven’t replied yet. Now I’m wondering if this is common in this culture.. Will they now suddenly show up tomorrow?

Well, I think I’ll go out tomorrow and explore some of the forests around – I have a bike (cykel) now! After I got the bike I already ended up in the forest per accident :) The distances are very short here, or is it the map with a different scale to what I’m used to?

What I particularly liked was that it came clear that stereotypes are not always negative, in fact stereotypes are mostly positive when your talking about your own country, or, as I mentioned, about the country you’d like to be a part of..

And Jonas (the teacher) told about turn taking in conversations. When a French speaks with a Swede the French will be talking all the time as she waits for the Swede to interrupt, which they would never do. Ending up with a repeating French because she will think the Swede didn’t understood and a irritated Swede because he thinks the French won’t let him speak.

As the book I’m reading (Communicating with strangers) says:

In a familiar world, people life through the day by responding to daily routine without questioning or reflection. To strangers, however, every situation is new and is therefore experienced as a crisis.

Parrillo (1980) about Schuetz.