First I went with Frida to her parents place on the countryside. We were there for over two weeks and also visited a friend at Gotland, a small island in front of the Swedish coast. Relaxing, reflecting, finally seeing this beautiful Swedish lake with a sunset.. And looking forward; where do we want to be together, and how, and what do we want to do? On Gotland I finally saw some real sea again! The Swedish coasts are nothing compared to the Netherlands, just rocky. Interesting to look at but not that much enjoyable as the Dutch ones. But at Gotland I got to experience it more. Gotland was strange, Sweden in small it is called. Flat in the south, cold in the north. And a lot of rocks :)

Then my brother Tijl came by and we went backpacking into the forests. As we both never did such a thing before we started carefully, but already within 24 hours we came back and repacked our backpacks :) Then it went better, but I now know I’m more a cyclist.. Canoing on the Swedish lakes with Tijl was fantastic. We went for a full day and slept on one of the islands. We also went to Stockholm, which was a bit strange.. and a lot of fun.

When Tijl went back to the Netherlands, the last week for me and Frida physically together started.. That was a lot harder one. With al the plans in our heads, it still wasn’t easy to cope with. I tried with a party on the last day, which helped a lot in making it a happy after-halfyear-party. Nonetheless, saying goodbye was almost horrible.

Then I traveled to Berlin. A nice trip on a train and ferry where I met a Japanese guy with which I later spent a day in Berlin with. Berlin was really nice. A good atmosphere, lots of bio shops and not such a busy center as for example Amsterdam.

After two days of Berlin I went on to France. There was a nice park in Lyon where I ate my lunch. And then the wonderful week in Rancy, France. I was there with a group from Mens en Spirit (Human and spirit) at La Ripe Blance. Also a lot of ‘down to earth’ stuff, which is really necessary for a spiritual heavy week :) I could reflect a lot on the last half year and life in general. I started a new company which I wanted to do already for some time, Frida helped me knowing that, and the France week helped me starting it. When I left there I knew I would just start. More on that later via the website and maybe the blog as well.

And then at last, the travel back to the Netherlands. Seeing the Eiffel tower in the distance as the train came past Paris and via a beautiful station of Antwerp. Having traveled a lot, I could finally write destination Alkmaar in my interrail log..

Luckily, not everything stayed the same. People changed. And that is good – the first lecture in Sweden they already ‘warned’ for coming back and you’ve changed but nobody else did, which leaves you with a complete changed view on the world and nobody understands you. None of that, but the environment didn’t change that much. I can still find everything on the same place (also meaning I have to do some room cleaning, still as I left it). I don’t have to do any thinking or searching, I can just join in the household here and things work the same. A very strange feeling, also because in some way I don’t feel a deep continuous longing for going to Sweden again.

In Sweden we had some 8 different garbage places under the kitchen sink, for the different garbage you have to separate. Just a month before I left there, two more were added. Or, actually, one of them was separated further into 3 different categories. Which was a good thing, but meant more space needed. ‘Here’, in the Netherlands, we maybe had something like 4 (paper, glass, compost and the rest), but only 2 of them (compost and the rest) were under the kitchen sink. Paper was in the hallway and glass in the garden.

Now, apparently some time ago, things changed here as well. Now plastic needs to be separated. So, more place needed under the kitchen sink. But there was none. There is the garden stuff and other cleaning stuff. And of course the olive oil… Ok, logical to replace that right? Enough places come to mind. But no, not possible; “it is good for olive oil to be in a dark place”.

But actually I do. Or, I started, I started having that longing for going ‘back’ again, back to my own place, our place. Stings in this household still go slow now and then. Things don’t happen, they don’t change. No experiments. All new thoughts are going down directly because this or that. There is always some ‘rule’ or ‘knowledge’ that prevents things from changing.

So nothing changes. The olive oil stays in place. The plastic is placed next to the cats, not really nice, but ok.

Oh, and it is not that I’m not playing a part here. It is just the combined atmosphere or behavior in this house. But I don’t want that anymore. I want to initiate new things.

Oh yeah, about the vacation adventures..

On vacation in your own house. “Where are you?.. over..” “At the vacation photos of 1991.. over..”

Click play or go to the gallery to view the photos in large.

The last weekend and the evenings around that, we – me and Frida, were moving together.

We’ve been installing new lights, packing, moving the packed boxes and placing everything in the new apartment.

But it takes more time than just that one weekend moving. Also cleaning the previous apartment, dealing with – and nervously waiting for – the rental company, and somehow, unpacking takes more time than packing.

And then come the more practical things.. A clock comes back in the apartment. How to deal with this and that? Were to place these things? How should this look? As said, moving takes more than 1 or 2 days. We’re welcoming the new adventures and conflicts :)

And things start to feel differently. The bed with the two nightstands suddenly looks like we’re a couple. Ah but wait, we are :)

And, we can now enjoy the new balcony.

(…) it’s no secret that the most beautiful thing you can wear is an authentic smile, and that the most beautiful people among us would be just as beautiful barefoot or in burlap, rather than in Manolo Blahniks. We’re a weird species that will spend fortunes to have the latest things, only to throw them away a season later, or spend our time and money on things that cover our bodies rather than make our bodies as healthy, fit, and beautiful as they naturally could be.

There are these moments, mostly about education, creativity, understanding or being yourself like above, that give me goose bumps. It reminded me of a blogpost about a woman giving a presentation on goose bumps (Dutch only). In a way it shows me what the things are that really hit me, that go deep. Are those the things that I should actually spend my time on?

The past week I’ve been thinking a lot. Nice thoughts about life, the universe and everything (*). Sadly, I didn’t came out on 42.. I spent a lot of time on thinking a lot of things, but when I think back of it, it is still ‘a lot of things’. Not one nice conclusion. It will come once I guess. I’ve had this for longer that I got the/my point of a discussion a day later.

Oh yes, and that book about design and sustainability.. It isn’t about this I guess. But it does look good. The book begins with defining ‘design’ and ’sustainability’ before it goes in the ‘real stuff’. The author, Nathan Shedroff, excuses himself for having to define things first. But I think that those definitions are exactlywhat makes this book stand out from all of the other books on design and sustainability. Here is an interview with the author and the excerpt of the book. Go and read “Design is the Problem: The Future of Design Must Be Sustainable”.

Thinking of the world out there, what to do in that world?

I’m cleaning and welcoming a new plant into the house.

The guinea pigs in the kitchen are getting more awake as the evening falls.

Soon it’s time to go to bed.

It all feels so naturally. Like it has always been this way.

Eldflugor och Odågor (picture from eldflugor.se)

There was a concert last Sunday were I went with Frida. It was from 6 girls, Google Translate said they called themselves Firefox and Waster (Eldflugor och Odågor), singing songs, mostly a cappella, some with addition of drums.

Most of the songs were in Swedish so I didn’t understand the words, but I could understand the feeling sometimes. A bit like Evelyn Glennie showed on TED.

It also was a great place there, good atmosphere. I think it was a living and working community (is that a correct term in English?). And there was a ecological shop in this building, finally with really good goods. Too bad it is in Uppsala which costs about €30,- to travel to..

It was great to travel this whole day. Although not as far as Nikki is traveling, I finally see some other places then only Eskilstuna and Västerås. And also that the good day is more than the goal your going to (the concert), it is also the travel, the things you see, the talks you have, what you think about..

On the way back there was this flyer on the streets of Uppsala. Some flyer from the International Womans Day. On the front it had a quote:

“Det är tur att vi finns, men det är en skam att vi behövs!”

I, apparently with my cultural background, read something like ‘man are scum and we behave’. Ohoh, don’t read that! Too late :) Not, it was more something like ‘it is good that we exist, but a shame that we are needed!’, about the womans organization behind this flyer.

It was good for me to list again what it was that I came to do here. Which in the end turned out to be 1) rest, 2) the intercultural leadership courses, 3) some unfinished assignments for the HKU. So all the rest, all the projects and nice activities, is not part of that. Learning the Swedish language came from the affection with Sweden I think, and it is absolutely nice to learn, but again, not priority. So I should stop it. So I did :)

And that same day, when I received a SMS (hm, in English that is called ‘text’ I think) in Swedish, I could completely read it, just taking all the time to understand every part of it. It felt like when I took the pressure off, it suddenly goes way easier. Not that surprisingly, but very nice to notice.

The last weeks I’ve started to more and more direct act on my feelings which feels very good to do. A lot of stress gets off, things don’t pile up in my head anymore. Write down that thing what I have to do, speak out what I feel, go outside when I feel like, eat when I’m hungry. And now that I do it my feelings help me even more. I’ve noticed a pretty uneasy feeling when I don’t act on a feeling.

Act! Just do it!

For my last course – which I finished with a ‘pass with distinction’ grade, the highest possible – I had to write a book review and I reviewed ‘A Geography of Time‘ by Robert Levine. Levine describes very interesting differences between our experience of time amongst different people / cultures. How our experience of time influences our whole structure of life and how not every culture lives with the calendar as we know it. Not only starting the counting of the year at another point in time, but also having different week, month and year lengths.

The most interesting point he makes about time I think is the difference between clock time and event time. People living on clock time let events start when the clock ‘tells’ them to do, whereas people living on event time let the events themselves tell this, also more feeling when the time is right to start something else. An excerpt from my paper:

Take the example of being in a conversation with someone. In a clock-time culture you would keep an eye on the time and try to work towards an end in the conversation when the clock tells you you have something else to do. If this doesn’t work as good as you want, you need to abruptly end the conversation to be in time for the next.

In an event-time culture you wouldn’t mind what the clock says. The conversation continues until both parties have the idea that it is over. This is more likely when a goal has been reached, when you feel that there is nothing more to say. After ending the conversation in this way you still don’t look at your watch. Instead, you’ll see what comes on your path next. This then, is the next event.

This example gives a bit extreme view on clock- and event-time though. Not all conversations will be ended abruptly because time is up and after a conversation in event-time you can take a look on the calendar to see what to do next. Nevertheless, the tendency is towards these examples.

Further Levine gives some lessons you should learn when you’re ‘time traveling’, traveling to a culture with another experience of time. I added a part in which I tell how to change your behavior if you’re staying in the same culture but want to adjust to another time anyway :)

One part of that is ‘learning to appreciate doing nothing’. In clock time cultures ‘doing nothing’ is mostly seen as a waste of time, time in which you could have been doing something else. In event time cultures ‘doing nothing’ is more an event on its own, as good as other events. You spend time looking around you, thinking, not thinking, talking, eating, waiting, feeling. As you see, you still do things, the difference lies in doing things without a direct goal. ‘Doing nothing’ is more about not having a direct goal and just feel what you’ll do and not feeling awkward about it!

So that is what I’ve been doing a lot lately. I spend a weekend with Frida just doing nothing. Talking, looking, listening to music, eating, thinking, laughing, healing. Later this week I saw an older couple in the IKEA restaurant, they already finished their meal and were doing nothing. Looking around, at each other, digesting, thinking, talking a bit. Very cool to see.