• an academic journey
• a cultural journey
• an intellectual journey
• and an emotional journey

Next to these categories you can of course still read every post from start to end. And also, read my report for the HKU (although it is in Dutch).

Thanks for being an audience. Although there weren’t that many reactions on the blogg itself, I got a lot ‘offline’. All supported me and learned me new stuff. Thanks for that :) Frida recently told that a friend of her was following both our blogs with a feeling of inspiration. That was really wonderful to hear. I hope it was interesting. For me it helped a lot to write things down. And it was an easy way to update the people ‘back home’ :)

For now I stop this blogg I think. I don’t have the need for it that much anymore. It is something I did when traveling. The posts from this blogg will go to an archived place on my website to which I will link from here. And one day I will have another blog of another travel; which for sure, will come :)

One thing to close, the tips I wrote in my report for HKU for other traveling students.

“The tourist sees what he came to see. The traveler sees what he sees.”

Go without too much preconceptions, look at the world like it is and remember, that how different people may be, the country is not in a crisis, so apparently, their way of working works fine too.*

Culture is so much more than just ‘fine-art’ culture. It’s how people act and think. Which structures are being made, what people think is normal, what things they completely overlook because they never do that kind of things and how close you are with people. If you’re starting to see that, you’ll ’see’ a lot more. If you hold on to the glasses of conclusions and preconceptions you actually are holding on to your own culture which makes it a lot harder to learn from the other culture.

* Which says something interesting about countries being in a crisis right now :)

First I went with Frida to her parents place on the countryside. We were there for over two weeks and also visited a friend at Gotland, a small island in front of the Swedish coast. Relaxing, reflecting, finally seeing this beautiful Swedish lake with a sunset.. And looking forward; where do we want to be together, and how, and what do we want to do? On Gotland I finally saw some real sea again! The Swedish coasts are nothing compared to the Netherlands, just rocky. Interesting to look at but not that much enjoyable as the Dutch ones. But at Gotland I got to experience it more. Gotland was strange, Sweden in small it is called. Flat in the south, cold in the north. And a lot of rocks :)

Then my brother Tijl came by and we went backpacking into the forests. As we both never did such a thing before we started carefully, but already within 24 hours we came back and repacked our backpacks :) Then it went better, but I now know I’m more a cyclist.. Canoing on the Swedish lakes with Tijl was fantastic. We went for a full day and slept on one of the islands. We also went to Stockholm, which was a bit strange.. and a lot of fun.

When Tijl went back to the Netherlands, the last week for me and Frida physically together started.. That was a lot harder one. With al the plans in our heads, it still wasn’t easy to cope with. I tried with a party on the last day, which helped a lot in making it a happy after-halfyear-party. Nonetheless, saying goodbye was almost horrible.

Then I traveled to Berlin. A nice trip on a train and ferry where I met a Japanese guy with which I later spent a day in Berlin with. Berlin was really nice. A good atmosphere, lots of bio shops and not such a busy center as for example Amsterdam.

After two days of Berlin I went on to France. There was a nice park in Lyon where I ate my lunch. And then the wonderful week in Rancy, France. I was there with a group from Mens en Spirit (Human and spirit) at La Ripe Blance. Also a lot of ‘down to earth’ stuff, which is really necessary for a spiritual heavy week :) I could reflect a lot on the last half year and life in general. I started a new company which I wanted to do already for some time, Frida helped me knowing that, and the France week helped me starting it. When I left there I knew I would just start. More on that later via the website and maybe the blog as well.

And then at last, the travel back to the Netherlands. Seeing the Eiffel tower in the distance as the train came past Paris and via a beautiful station of Antwerp. Having traveled a lot, I could finally write destination Alkmaar in my interrail log..

Clearly recognizable, not from someone close (not close physically, although close to the heart). Thanks for the card and the candy :)

I’ve been doing a lot of things this week, but mainly I’ve reorganized my room. The mess I left before I went to Sweden was still there and with all the dust having their winter sleep in my room it was quite some work. But now I have a new life and work environment.

It helps a lot in feeling fine and being able to do some other work. Like evaluating the last half year for HKU and starting new project and work for an income here.

My new view from my desk (include a nice sky like this):

Luckily, not everything stayed the same. People changed. And that is good – the first lecture in Sweden they already ‘warned’ for coming back and you’ve changed but nobody else did, which leaves you with a complete changed view on the world and nobody understands you. None of that, but the environment didn’t change that much. I can still find everything on the same place (also meaning I have to do some room cleaning, still as I left it). I don’t have to do any thinking or searching, I can just join in the household here and things work the same. A very strange feeling, also because in some way I don’t feel a deep continuous longing for going to Sweden again.

In Sweden we had some 8 different garbage places under the kitchen sink, for the different garbage you have to separate. Just a month before I left there, two more were added. Or, actually, one of them was separated further into 3 different categories. Which was a good thing, but meant more space needed. ‘Here’, in the Netherlands, we maybe had something like 4 (paper, glass, compost and the rest), but only 2 of them (compost and the rest) were under the kitchen sink. Paper was in the hallway and glass in the garden.

Now, apparently some time ago, things changed here as well. Now plastic needs to be separated. So, more place needed under the kitchen sink. But there was none. There is the garden stuff and other cleaning stuff. And of course the olive oil… Ok, logical to replace that right? Enough places come to mind. But no, not possible; “it is good for olive oil to be in a dark place”.

But actually I do. Or, I started, I started having that longing for going ‘back’ again, back to my own place, our place. Stings in this household still go slow now and then. Things don’t happen, they don’t change. No experiments. All new thoughts are going down directly because this or that. There is always some ‘rule’ or ‘knowledge’ that prevents things from changing.

So nothing changes. The olive oil stays in place. The plastic is placed next to the cats, not really nice, but ok.

Oh, and it is not that I’m not playing a part here. It is just the combined atmosphere or behavior in this house. But I don’t want that anymore. I want to initiate new things.

Oh yeah, about the vacation adventures..

On vacation in your own house. “Where are you?.. over..” “At the vacation photos of 1991.. over..”

He wanted to see the museum für film und fernseher (movie and television). The exhibition was not that interesting to me, but the building was pretty interesting, and there were some other nice things.

Then we went to the museum of communication. It had some nice things, good interaction as well, but it was too bad that most descriptions and explanations were only in German. And a nice thought on diaries and blogs. Are the diaries of today (the weblogs) still as private as they were? And, is there a difference between how the writers and readers see that privacy?

In the evening we went to a vegetarian Japanese restaurant. I found one before, and, it seemed to be a very good choice. Masa said it was so good that they could easily open a shop in Japan as well :) And he was really happy reading some Japanese again (on the menu) after three weeks of Europe trip. The restaurant was called Susuru, which means slurping. It was advised to do that as, according to the menu, it made for a better taste. And, it was good anyway to be able to eat the udon, a special kind of noodles. And, really tasty it was! You should go there when you’re in Berlin!

I’ve been thinking about Frida all day.. Only three days ago now.

Next stop, Tournus. The train leaves in an hour. For a week with Mens en Spirit (human and spirit).

There can be no understanding between the hands and the brain unless the heart acts as mediator (Thea von Harbou)

And then I saw this, here in Berlin. Wikitravel calls this neighborhood one with students, artists and left-wing people. The streets are big, large apartments, people on the streets everywhere. In the shopping street there are all these small shops. Goods from all over the world, people from all cultures. Semi-old style buildings, open windows, music and talking coming through them. Whole gardens on the balconies. People smiling, even if they don’t know you. A very alive atmosphere.

Not houses with plants growing on the walls, but whole cars and bikes covered with plants! A student house, Chateau Manteuffel, named after the street, where the students had set up their own dream organization as well. Living, working, partying, together, in the same place.

The park and playground in the middle had a complete biological market. At first I thought “that is a waste of energy, two bio grocery stands opposite each other”. But then everything was bio. Three groceries, two cheese stands, a bakery, five clothing stands, a shoe stand, two with household stuff and an ice cream stand! Oh, ad one with flowers and one with juice and wine. I’ve probably forgot some more :)

At the playgrounds the mothers and some fathers were talking and watching their children. The women, about half of them, without bras. No limitations for the body anymore? When the children couldn’t make up who’s turn it was now, one of the mothers took care of it. In a perfect and calm way. As if every child was her child. No need for a “how to raise your child” reality tv show here, no “I only care about my own child” mentality.

In the evening I ate at the vegetarian restaurant next to the park. Really good food, nice juice (rhubarb!) and not expensive. In the whole neighborhood I found five bio shops, a vegetarian café and this vegetarian restaurant. And I’ve only spent half a day there. The closest bio shops in Eskilstuna were an hour and a half away by train.

I knew it can be like this. In Alkmaar we also had three bio shops. I’ve seen such streets and atmosphere in The Hague before. In Eskilstuna there were also always people talking and children playing in front of the apartment.

But somewhere, I forgot this longing. To have all this, all around you. I forgot, while knowing it unconsciously, that I wish to live in such a place.

—

Update: I’ve uploaded some photos

I really have to get used to the new place, changing my habits. I already can’t count the times I’ve said “tack” (thanks in Swedish) and “hej”.. Here “guten Morgen” is more used by “the local people” :)

Apparently, the Germans don’t really trust the Swedes. The EuroNight from Malmö to Berlin goes, unexpected by me, on a ferry, and skips all Denmark’s islands. At the harbor, half an hour under Malmö, we stopped. Since our departure from Malmö our tickets were checked by a conductor from SJ (the Swedish railway company). During the stop, two conductors walked by the train, spoke a bit about which wagons they already checked and then the second conductor came in and started checking tickets.. Then I noticed his name tag, Deutsche Bahn.

Further everything went nice. I met a nice guy from Japan, doing a roundtrip through Europe. It was a good way to talk about (and verify) the things I learned about Japanese culture in the last half year. It is strange to hear that it is really true that they have about 5 vacation days a year. Officially more in the better companies, but nobody dares to take them because they get looked upon by their co-workers. Co-workers, or indeed their group members. Because he said it was true that they were more group oriented than individualistic. But how this was in reality was hard to tell.. I guess you have to experience that for yourself. And he said that these restaurants “you have here” is something unseen in Japan. In Japan, restaurants are standing restaurants. You eat diner in 5 minutes. I told that it may be because when we go out for food (which is more expensive) we want to make sure that it was worth the money, so we stay longer and enjoy the good time there. But in Japan eating out was not that much more expensive he said. Still, even at home, I take some 20 to 30 minutes for a casual day diner. He is going to stay in Berlin for some days as well, so we decided to meet tomorrow morning at the Hauptbahnhof, so go in the city together.

I can now go back to the central station to pick up my reservation for the CityNightLine towards Basel (on my way to France). I picked up the original reservation this morning already, but then the date was wrong. Luckily they could provide me with a new reservation right away.

So, off from the computer, into the city, now that I have my new ticket :)

Why is Berlin so far from Eskilstuna? I want to be closer to you Frida.

—

First some travels now. When I’m back in the Netherlands, I’ll tell some stories of the vacations here and make a wrap-up of everything.

Thanks for all the reactions on my writings here. Both on-blog and off-blog. Really really really quite appreciated.

Packing for leaving a place which you don’t want to leave.

Saying goodbye to my life partner, with which I’ve spend the last months, every day.

Waarom verblinden we ons van de sterren
met de kassen voor de tomaten die hier eigenlijk niet groeien?
Waarom leven we niet van het voedsel wat hier groeit
en laten we de vruchten uit Spanje en Congo komen?
Hoe zijn we zo ver van het leven met de natuur gekomen
en hoe komen we weer terug bij moeder Aarde?

Pacha mama, I’m coming home

Net met Tijl (mijn broertje) erg lekker gegeten van de lasagna. Hij is hier voor een paar weken en we trekken veel de natuur in. Een soort “overleven in de wildernis” maar dan met de supermarkt om de hoek. Zoals Tijl zo mooi zei, je kunt hier in Zweden zo goed midden een de mooie natuur zitten; een halve dag lopen; kamperen in een dorp en naar de supermarkt gaan; weer een halve dag in prachtige natuur; en de bus naar huis vanuit het volgende dorp.

De natuur, de echte natuur, is hier nog direct om de hoek. Zoals je in Nederland de randstad hebt met een paar stukjes groen, heb je hier het stuk groen, met een paar steden en dorpjes. In de stad zit het vol met ‘kleine’ stadsparkjes, maar dan wel van het soort “een grote rots met bomen”, niet het gemaakte “grasvlakte met een vijvertje”. En dan loop je de stad of het dorp uit en zit je gelijk in een bos waar niet elke vierkante meter recent nog belopen is door de mensen. Het ziet er nog mooi uit, niet platgetrapt, dat verschil is zo duidelijk. En dan de grotere bossen in en je komt oude wegen tegen, van tientallen tot honderden jaren oud. Overgroeid, maar als je ze weet (of je ouders) dan kun je hele mooie tochten maken en dromen over vergaane tijden :)

Meer later, nu even terug naar het eten :)

Tijl kwam er mee dat het wel eens duurder zou kunnen zijn (voor een Nederlander) om fruit uit een Nederlandse kas te halen dan om sinaasappels uit Spanje over te laten vliegen. Dat vliegtuig hoeft maar één keer de natuurlijk groeiende sinaasappels te halen terwijl de kassen hier het hele jaar, dag en nacht, aan staan. Maar eigenlijk is beide natuurlijk raar.

Laten we eens het voedsel gebruiken dat hier wél groeit, in het seizoen dát het groeit. En weer kunnen kijken naar de sterren.

* Een Nederlands blogje omdat ik daarvoor voelde. En omdat Frida Nederlands aan het leren is :)

On the wall is a quote:

En känsla infinner sig,
en tanke uppstår,
en idé föds.

After reading this, the first weekend here in Sweden, I knew the last sentence and thus the rest a little bit. “En idé föds” is about an idea being born. So, maybe something with chance (känsla) and thought (tanke)? Almost, as känsla is ‘feeling’, not chance. Google translate thought is was like this:

A feeling arises,
a thought occurs,
an idea is born.

Sometimes you’ll hear a piano in the background. In the corridors, next to the filharmonin, there is a piano. Just like now, sometimes somebody comes by and plays it. Just some notes, to practice. But everytime I paused my own music if I was listening, I paused my work, and just watched the trees or the rain through the window next to me. An anonymous piano player and me. The only ones in this place at the moment.

Do I still want to continue with HKU? I’m not thát sure anymore. Although it might not be bad for me and also give me a nice few projects again. (Something practical finally! I’m quite done with the theory here..)

I found the Interactive Institute here. Looks like a nice place for projects. I’ve been thinking about staying there for some time. If at all I get in here at some place. Without diploms, without the language (which is more important here than in the Netherlands).

And spiritually the Netherlands would be a very interesting place. A lot of things are happening there. So maybe we can life there for some time. Start new projects there, explore what I want on that green sphere.

I’ve started to work again, small things, but still. Yesterday I continued walking through the methods I use in projects I did. The step of yesterday was making a mindmap of everything. Quickly the paper (A4) became too small :) There is a lot that I know, a lot I’m experienced in, a bit too much maybe? At least I should structure it a bit more now. I want to describe the methods, for myself and for ‘clients’.

And when I was going through some past projects I saw Lones again.. Did anybody made those things for real? I could use them now.. Or, in two months would be ok as well ;)

“This our concept video of the Emotion Stone, that transfers warmth, emotions and gestures over long distances. This video gives an example how it could work.”

Official now, or at least, Frida can receive mail here :)

It is becoming a real ‘house’ now. Now practically every box is unpacked, things have their place. And the reward for that is definitely there, a nice place to be :) Even the guinea pigs start to feal at home.

But also the dishes (after eating tomato pies) start to pile up also. How to deal with that? The shadow side of decisions?

Be careful of what you wish for, you might get it all.

Luckily, I’m still very happy. It helps me a lot with the things I find hard in life. Growing everyday. That’s why we did this.

The last few weeks I’ve noticed that I look differently at the trip to school, at doing shopping, at walking in the city. I finally start to see this as normal. Before it was still my study abroad. Now this way to school has become my way to school, this city became my city. I feel at home, I think.

On the right is a part of that life. On my way to school the air was on fire. Oh, btw, another fire that was part of the life here, was Valborg. The Swedish helgdagar (holiday) on the 30th of April.

From one of the first books about intercultural interactions:

Strangeness is no longer a temporary condition to be overcome, but a way of life.
Harman

Click play or go to the gallery to view the photos in large.

The last weekend and the evenings around that, we – me and Frida, were moving together.

We’ve been installing new lights, packing, moving the packed boxes and placing everything in the new apartment.

But it takes more time than just that one weekend moving. Also cleaning the previous apartment, dealing with – and nervously waiting for – the rental company, and somehow, unpacking takes more time than packing.

And then come the more practical things.. A clock comes back in the apartment. How to deal with this and that? Were to place these things? How should this look? As said, moving takes more than 1 or 2 days. We’re welcoming the new adventures and conflicts :)

And things start to feel differently. The bed with the two nightstands suddenly looks like we’re a couple. Ah but wait, we are :)

And, we can now enjoy the new balcony.

First 3 are in

One more

Failed twice, but now we have two more

I just checked in another 3 boxes

Woohoo! I was just in time.. But now we have 7 more :)

> Great! stop searching now, we will have a lot

I brought in 4 more, I was at the place already.

Collecting banana boxes from supermarkets in the area. We’ re moving! More later :)

When I was on the phone with home this week they told me that Pi, the cat, was lying on the table with the phone in his arms.. Today I saw his yellow eyes in front of me. Just being there with me for a moment.

(…) it’s no secret that the most beautiful thing you can wear is an authentic smile, and that the most beautiful people among us would be just as beautiful barefoot or in burlap, rather than in Manolo Blahniks. We’re a weird species that will spend fortunes to have the latest things, only to throw them away a season later, or spend our time and money on things that cover our bodies rather than make our bodies as healthy, fit, and beautiful as they naturally could be.

There are these moments, mostly about education, creativity, understanding or being yourself like above, that give me goose bumps. It reminded me of a blogpost about a woman giving a presentation on goose bumps (Dutch only). In a way it shows me what the things are that really hit me, that go deep. Are those the things that I should actually spend my time on?

The past week I’ve been thinking a lot. Nice thoughts about life, the universe and everything (*). Sadly, I didn’t came out on 42.. I spent a lot of time on thinking a lot of things, but when I think back of it, it is still ‘a lot of things’. Not one nice conclusion. It will come once I guess. I’ve had this for longer that I got the/my point of a discussion a day later.

Oh yes, and that book about design and sustainability.. It isn’t about this I guess. But it does look good. The book begins with defining ‘design’ and ’sustainability’ before it goes in the ‘real stuff’. The author, Nathan Shedroff, excuses himself for having to define things first. But I think that those definitions are exactlywhat makes this book stand out from all of the other books on design and sustainability. Here is an interview with the author and the excerpt of the book. Go and read “Design is the Problem: The Future of Design Must Be Sustainable”.

Thinking of the world out there, what to do in that world?

I’m cleaning and welcoming a new plant into the house.

The guinea pigs in the kitchen are getting more awake as the evening falls.

Soon it’s time to go to bed.

It all feels so naturally. Like it has always been this way.

How is it in Japan?

The sun will shine brightly for you again every day.
Some romantic moments that u lost in past will be brought back!
Have a nice day,
Extend your possibilities in your private life
Do not lose your chance to be happy and healthy.
Stop sitting near computer, let’s go out

Thanks to Craig Ryan, Helene Cellier, Williams Battle, Brent Hinton, Maxine Bird and Ysuhofalut!

I found a nice little park next to the supermarket – the Hemköp seen in the middle. I sat on a rock there, with this view. Good place to think, overview of the city.

I’ve been photographing a lot lately. I’ve also not been photographing a lot, just experiencing the environment. But both serve their goal. Photographing helps me to get another view on things. By trying different ways to capture a space I learn the different aspects of the space as well.

And I’m making new stereograms here. Thanks again Ivo for pointing me at this way back :) It is a trick to photograph an object which can been seen in 3D again pretty easy afterwards. See the picture below. The trick to see 3D here is to ‘cross your eyes’ to look at a non-existing point in front of the real image. Focus until you’ve got both grey circles to join eachother in the middle, then look at the image.

See more Swedish stereograms from the nature of Eskilstuna :)

It was good for me to list again what it was that I came to do here. Which in the end turned out to be 1) rest, 2) the intercultural leadership courses, 3) some unfinished assignments for the HKU. So all the rest, all the projects and nice activities, is not part of that. Learning the Swedish language came from the affection with Sweden I think, and it is absolutely nice to learn, but again, not priority. So I should stop it. So I did :)

And that same day, when I received a SMS (hm, in English that is called ‘text’ I think) in Swedish, I could completely read it, just taking all the time to understand every part of it. It felt like when I took the pressure off, it suddenly goes way easier. Not that surprisingly, but very nice to notice.

The last weeks I’ve started to more and more direct act on my feelings which feels very good to do. A lot of stress gets off, things don’t pile up in my head anymore. Write down that thing what I have to do, speak out what I feel, go outside when I feel like, eat when I’m hungry. And now that I do it my feelings help me even more. I’ve noticed a pretty uneasy feeling when I don’t act on a feeling.

Act! Just do it!